20 Tips for An Academically Rigorous Large Family Homeschool

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Many homeschooling blog posts have been written and youtube videos recorded sharing tips and tricks for large families who have children close in age. However, these strategies don’t necessarily work once there is a more signficant age gap among students. For example, how to homeschool when you have one child in Babylaben while you have one approaching college age?

I have had many requests for sharing how we handle homeschooling amidst this, “Straddle Parenting.” This unique challenge is what this blog post will be dedicated to.

Please note: The core assumption of our homeschool is that we do not want homeschooling to create artificial barriers to entry for any of our children– academically, socially or otherwise. My husband and I are both attorneys, and a key tenet of our homeschool has always been the desire that our children should be able to achieve at least as much as we have been able to. I point that out at the outset in order to flag the fact that we strongly prioritize academics in our homeschool. I know that is not necessarily the case with other families, and I want to let you know before you read my forthcoming lengthy dissertation where this copy is headed. The purpose of this article is not to convince you that your family needs to be so oriented. Rather, the purpose of this article is to provide suggestions that will help improve the level of rigor in your large family homeschool if you want to do so— this is the underlying assumption of the entire piece.

A note about my background: I graduated from college with a B.S. in Political Science. I graduated from law school with a J.D., cum laude. My husband has a similar background. I have homeschooled my children since they were of school age both independently and as part of a homeschool charter school. My two oldest children have been pursuing somewhat disparate paths with similar success, both having GPAs of 4.0+. My oldest has completed STEM courses such as Honors Chemistry, AP Biology, and all levels of high school math to include Calculus next year. My second oldest has read hundreds of books including almost everything Stephen King has written and college courses in Cultural Anthropology, Humanities as well as MOOCs in Sociology and the Morality of Politics.

Tip #1: Homeschool Year Round

After many years of experimentation, my number one tip to achieve a high level of academic rigor is to homeschool year round. Why? So that you don’t have to stress about days or weeks off due to life. Kids get sick. Roofs leak. Babies teeth. High schoolers need to be driven places. Plus maybe you want to take a vacation or day trip. Maybe even a hike to see wildflowers? If you homeschool year round there is no artificial time pressure to finish things up by May or June.

Tip #2 Choose Materials Suitable to Your Particular Child

The right curriculum for your child is probably the most important consideration. If you are never able to finish a lesson or make progress and your student’s eyes are glazed over, you may need to start looking elsewhere. Take note of situations in which your student is unable to recall a single thing you have read to them. Were they distracted, disinterested or is there something else going on? Sometimes it is the case that your student may simply need scaffolding or you need to focus on a particular skill such as reading comprehension.

Hard doesn’t mean it’s a non start. Memoria Press, for example, is an incredibly challenging and rigorous curriculum. I use it with all of my children to varying degrees. For some students it takes longer to finish whereas others are able to keep the pace. Don’t be afraid to take longer than scheduled (see tip #1) to finish a challenging curriculum (assuming it’s not a bad fit for other reasons).

Also, I wouldn’t generally recommend curriculum that has your child needing to jump through hoops by switching gears. For example, many curriculums now have online components such as video lessons or online quizzes. If you are going to make use of online options, I would suggest going fully online for the lesson from beginning to end. If a student is going to need your help logging into a platform after 20 minutes, and they are going to then get distracted and want to do something else on the computer, etc. In my opinion it’s a recipe for disaster.

All that being said– if the curriculum is a bad fit it will waste time, effort, and learning potential.

Tip #3 Age Range Curriculum

This can be a real life saver for the middle or younger kids. Two of my favorites for this are Moving Beyond the Page and BookShark. You read a book, or watch a video (YMMV), and either answer questions, complete a conceptual worksheet, or create some sort of project. This is essentially educating students as a group. It can work really well for properly grouped children. Blossom and Root

Tip #4 Encourage and Scaffold Independent Work

You should begin to encourage independent work as soon as makes sense for your student. Workbooks are most suitable to this. Second graders, for example, can be capable of completing basic (previously taught) Math, spelling, handwriting, and possibly grammar depending on their reading level and comprehension.

I have found that doing work with my student, such as a Memoria Press student literature guide, and then having them attempt to do it independently can be a good option. Studies Weeklies can also be a good fit for this– again largely depending on the student and their abilities.

Additional options for independent work include thins like listening to audiobooks or completing written or drawn narrations. For example, I recently found the book for a BookShark science lesson on a library app (hoopla), and had my students answer the questions on the science worksheet. In this case I was sitting nearby, able to assist, but they completed the lesson relatively independently.

Tip #5 Block Off School Time

Set aside a certain block of time each day during which school can happen. This doesn’t only mean for your younger children. In fact this is perhaps of the utmost importance for your older children. In A Thomas Jefferson Education, the DeMilles explain how during scholar phase, the students should be able to have the time to focus hard on their studies. So, for example, from 9-12 am (if that’s the schedule you set aside), don’t ask your scholar phase students to do their chores at the expense of their studies. It can be done that they do chores during breaks, but in general I would give older students more leeway to decide which study schedule works for them– e.g. chores in the evening or morning before school, etc. (If you are curious about TJED, I recommend checking out their books, especially The Phases of Learning.)

In line with this, in our homeschool I do not ask my teenagers to help with younger siblings during school time. This is probably an unpopular approach in large families and I don’t expect anyone to do as I say. Do what works for your family. For me, I have striven to ensure that my older children do not become parentified. This point is very important to me, personally. How can I expect my high schoolers to achieve academic excellence if I am pulling them out of an AP Biology lecture to watch my toddler for a second? The two demands on their time are inconsistent. That being said, I have found that my teens often want to play with their baby brother in the mornings during breaks. I allow and encourage this. It is a similar approach to chores and I believe it helps them actually take a mental break from the rigors of their studies when they are reading a board book or rolling a ball back and forth. I do expect my teens to help with their siblings occasionally in the afternoons, but I do not treat them as live in babysitters because they are not. My children are solely my (and my husband’s) responsibility not my teenagers’.

This also means not scheduling excursions in the mornings. Sure, a fieldtrip to see the Rube Goldberg exhibition with a group or the Physics of Rollercoasters at a science museum may prove worthwhile, but I probably wouldn’t commit to any regular commitments in the morning unless the academic aspects significantly outweigh the time sacrificed in preparation, to and fro, as well as the actual activity itself.

The one exception I would make would be if you live in a very remote area and you have a co op once a week, or church activity, that provides a substantial and positive social opportunity for many or most of your children. (I say many or most because if it is only for the benefit of one of your children, the sacrifice is too great for the whole and it is very likely that this child could meet up 1:1 at a different time and different venue that works better for your entire family schedule.

I want to also give credit to Julie Bogart here for her comment about having a routine that is only sometimes interrupted by lady enchantment. Something along those lines, not a direct quotation.

Tip #6 Make the Most of Group Learning Opportunities You Already Have

If you have a homeschool group park day you already attend, you can think of ways to engage in learning opportunities with these families. Family book club, Story of the World meetups, science experiment days, art projects etc. are all suitable for doing with any group. Chat with other regular attendees and seek consensus about what sounds good. Please do ensure that you are still allowing your children free play time, but if you are strapped for time and you don’t have the bandwidth to add in driving to one more thing, look at what is already on your calendar before adding to it.

Tip #7 Utilize Backstops

What is a backstop? A backstop is a cheap, quick, or otherwise easy format of an educational activity or curriculum for your children that you can quickly pull together and give to your students with little hassle. Why is a backstop important? You are not going to have the time to teach full on lessons in every single subject every single day. Or maybe you will but you’ll soon be moving, or traveling or someone will get sick or you’ll have some other pressing big life thing that makes teaching lessons challenging if not impossible. First, I do think there is a time and a place for giving one’s self grace, but these instances should be limited. Give yourself time after having a baby, experiencing a loss, or other traumatic/challenging events, sure. But your children deserve to receive an education to the fullest extent possible and frequent and prolonged interruptions are not going to serve them well.

Examples of backstops:

• Cheap workbooks from amazon, dollar tree, walmart, or costco in any subject
• Printable packets or worksheets from education.com, teachers pay teachers or etsy or Montessoring, etc.
• There are about a bajillion online options, but I shy away from these now as they become black holes of time. That being said, I’d rather a child spends time on reading eggs or Khan Academy than do nothing at all in desperate times (like when everyone is sick and its raining and dad is working a long day, etc. you know, those kinds of days)
• Studies Weekly is an excellent option and goes beyond the concept of a backstop as it has extension activities both online and in the printed teacher packets that are sent when you order. Here is their website. I use these for science and social studies for my 2nd and 5th graders in order to supplement and because they are perfectly suited for independent work.

Tip #8 Take Advantage of Meal Times (& nap times)

I’d like to thank my friend Elena for this tip. Have a hard time reading aloud to your younger kids in the morning? Read to them at lunch time (or if you’re a morning person at breakfast time). Or put on an audiobook or have a willing teen read aloud, or a new reader. You get the picture.

I hesitate to recommend teaching during nap time because only 50% of my six children napped on a predictable schedule or at all, really. So I stick to recommending meal times!

Tip #9 Don’t Worry About Teaching Things at “The Wrong Time” or “Late”

Instead, worry about not teaching them at all. Fractions do not have to be taught in third or fourth grade, but please try to teach them by 5th grade. If you need help, see other tips in this article.

Tip #10 Loop Everything

Didn’t get to science today? Do it tomorrow. Didn’t read all the chapters in the assignment from Memoria Press or Bookshark? Read what you can today and then finish up tomorrow or the day after. Don’t stress over lesson plan timelines. Just get it done in due time. See my tip about year round schooling above.

Side note: I would not try to teach all of my children together. I would absolutely group in clusters of closer age range. I should perhaps dedicate an entire heading to this because I feel so strongly about it. But I see many large families doing this and it appears to work for them so I’m going to leave it here as a sort of footnote.

I would also recommend maintaining a core curriculum for Math and ELA, but weave in occasional unit studies for interest– yours and your children’s. Loop that unit on the Living Seas. There’s no reason you have to only study water biomes for a month straight. Keep it fresh and interesting and engaging and it’s more likely to actually get done. In my experience, any way.

Tip #11 The Library is Your Friend

This is true for any homeschooling family, but even moreso for large families because we are more likely to have financial constraints. Make full use of your library resources. For example, our library system offers FREE access to Rosetta Stone (and other language programs), Great Course, digital books, etc. If your local library doesn’t offer these things, look more broadly. With Link+ many more resources may be available. (Many homeschool curriculum resources are available there too from workbooks to copies of Story of the World.)

There may also be free tutoring available online or in person.

Libraries also often have free in person activities like webinars about how to get college scholarships, 3D printing CAD workshops, or other special events in the summer.

Museums also often have free online or in person lecture series or even things like cow eyeball dissection. Check their events calendars! If you aren’t a member your library may have a free pass option.

Tip #12 Other Free or Low Cost Options

I recently learned that homeschooling parents can sign up with the college board to be teachers for their student for AP courses. Khan Academy offers free AP test prep for many subject tests. If your teen works well independently, this can be a great option for a rigorous course of study at a much lower cost than signing up for an AP class.

Community Colleges may be free for your high school student via dual enrollment.

Coursera and EdX offer MOOCs (free classes open to the general public) on so many different topics. My sophomore just competed a course from Yale about the morality of politics.

These courses will be especially important for your student to develop a course of study that showcases their academic and personal interests if they are interested in obtaining admission to a competitive college.

Tip #13 Don’t Be Afraid to Ask

If there is some special program or class or curriculum your child is wanting, don’t be afraid to ask in your homeschool group or buy nothing group or even your general facebook account. I have seen entire levels of curriculum being passed on. A retiring homeschool mother gave away her entire curriculum collection. I put it out there I wanted a Great Books of the Western World set and a friend happened to just have gotten one and was looking to get rid of it! Julie Bogart shared how one of her children was able to take a dance class for free in exchange for passing out fliers for the studio.

Additionally, if your student has a very specific niche interest and is looking for a mentor, don’t be afraid to contact a professor in the field and ask if they have any recommendations for further study. They may be delighted to have an eager student to speak with that shares a love for the same thing.

Free little libraries.

Tip #14 If You Have to Let Things Slide, Let it Be with the Little Kids

You have more time to come back to them before they graduate. See block of time section above.

Tip #15 Don’t Wait Until High School to Take Math & Science Seriously

You’ll thank me later.

Don’t be scared of Math. There are way too many resources available to you. Google, YouTube, Khan Academy– all free. Your math curriculum can also support you. Moving Beyond the Page and RightStart Math are favorites of mine. RSM has a 1800 number to call if you get stuck! Libraries have free tutoring online or in person. Do your child a service and push through your self doubt so you can prepare them for whatever future they want to create.

Note: apparently certain colleges, including but not limited to UCSD, require copies of lab reports for high school science courses. The CMEC does an excellent job of providing comprehensive science courses with labs for high school students, as does Sabbath Mood. See also, Bookshark’s high school science kits (e.g.) and Home Science Tools. Many co ops offer dissection opportunites, as do some museums and even libraries on occasion!

Tip #16 Outsource

See prior section.

Some of my favorite providers include:

• Brave Writer — I highly highly highly recommend Middle School Writing projects. My high schoolers have completed courses in Analytical Essay Writing, Research and Citation, and the Persuasive Essay. BW now offers semester bundles of courses at a slight discount and they have payment plan options. BW is ideal for those in a charter school program.
• Mr. D Math — A-G approved and fully WASC accredited, we are big fans! My children have taken every course (live option) offered from preparing for pre-algebra through pre-calculus and likely Calculus next year. They also have an excellent SAT Math bootcamp course which my oldest is currently taking. Cannot recommend highly enough! Also see prior section.
• BYU Independent — this well known university offers asynchronous courses in many different subjects including for our purposes AP classes. AP Biology, for example, requires exams to be handwritten, has a physical textbook, and has lab assignments!
• UC Scout — run by the University of California, this provider actually provides testing seat for AP courses. My daughter has completed AP U.S. Government with them. We had a bad experience with AP European History so caveat emptor.
• AP Homeschoolers (fka PA Homeschoolers) — the mostly highly recommended online AP provider. I have my eye on AP Calculus and AP Physics. Expensive but they do offer payment plans. You’ll have to find your own AP test seat.

Tip #17 Build a Culture of Learning

Check out what the DeMilles have to say in their books. My children have grown up in libraries and museums and I also make it a point to engage in my mother culture reading or other activities in front of them. These days I don’t get to read as much as I have in the past, but I still make a point to do it whenever I can. I also subscribe to several journals published by SSRN, where I have also been published. In addition, a long while ago I participated in Mentoring in the Classics, which set off a spark in my personal lifelong learning journey. I also regularly listen to podcasts and attend webinars on various topics including a particularly memorable on on Roman Law offered by the Classical Liberal Institute at NYU. I reach out to creators of such programs when I find them particularly striking, and I share this information with my children as well.

I have also taken three courses in Early Childhood Education through the UCLA extension program. I was interested in learning new techniques for one of my children– if you know me in real life I am sure you can guess which child– and am 1 unit short of a teaching certificate.

If your children see you doing something, they will know that you prioritize it. Additionally, it has been quite an experience to see my second oldest asking to read the non-fiction titles that I have picked up from the library book shop, such as this one and this one.

In addition, we reinforce the importance of the subjects they are studying by having each child give a brief narration after dinner each night. This way I am able to get a daily update of their progress in their studies and my husband is able to share in the riches of their educations. Creating a culture of learning goes a long way in setting the tone for academics. Anything they are interested in can become a larger project or an opportunity to expand their horizons. Just don’t come at me when you children suddenly start asking you 1,000,000 questions per day– that is the unfortunate side effect of creating such a culture in your home!

Tip #18 Try Not to Compare Your Kids

Do not assume that something that worked for one child is going to work for another. While this may be more common in smaller families, it can be equally as insidious in large families–especially considering the potential for cost savings if you could just do everything exactly the same way for each child on down the line. You already know each of your children is a unique individual with their own hopes and dreams and goals and interests and challenges. You are going to have to make adjustments accordingly– and it’s a good thing! The DeMilles speak on this as well– “an education to match their mission.” TJED has a helpful tool called “blank page mentoring.” Julie Bogart also has the continent of learning worksheet, which you can find in her first book.

Some children are going to need to be held more accountable if you observe that they sometimes attempt to get away with not doing what they are supposed to be doing. In our homeschool this looks like selecting materials that have worksheets and teacher guides. I have personally begun reading literature that one of my students is reading so that I can ensure the book has been fully read. It is not easy, but I make it work because it matters to me. I have had good luck with getting the books through a library app so that I can read one chapter at at time throughout the day. Other accountability tools include notebooking, notecards, timelines, and assessments. See also: planning tools.

Lastly, and this seems unrelated but properly belongs under this category I think. Don’t assume that a curriculum which did not work for one of your older children will not work for your younger children. My older children did not like doing read alouds together. It was a noisy chaotic disaster. Story of The World also did not work. I found it tiresome and boring. These days, however, my two elementary students actually thoroughly enjoy SOTW, and I do too! I’m not sure what has changed but apparently SOTW with 5 children under 9 is just not the same experience as unlimited read alouds with 2 students (and “only” two children under 9). On a daily basis I read more books aloud than titles I would have read in an entire year to my older children. My older children learned to read and then took any and every book they could get their hands on. My two oldest students in particular were able (and happy) to complete all of the assigned reading for Bookshark for several years starting in elementary. In contrast, my two elementary student do relatively little work independently on a daily basis– they are just different!

Tip #19 Don’t Neglect Socialization

Please, please, please do not neglect your children’s needs for socialization outside of the family. I KNOW it can be very tricky to figure out the best time to find social opportunities amidst school and volunteering and working that the teens are doing, but having social opportunities outside of the family is SO important! (It is important for you too mama!) If a student has to take a B+ in an AP course so that they can regularly attend a social function and be more well adjusted socially, then that’s a sacrifice I am willing to make. Because one day they will be out in the world on their own, and you do want them to be able to engage meaningfully with the outside world. What these opportunities look like will vary from family to family, I don’t believe there is one correct way to address this need. Just make sure that you keep this high on your list of priorities.

One recent event that has been organized in our communities is called a “Teen Wander.” The teens meetup in a particular location to “wander” while parents either take off or meet somewhere nearby as a potential contact. One group is even hosting a monthly bonfire at the beach.

You too can set up a group meeting opportunity for your teens. Perhaps you cannot attend physically because you have too many little kids, but maybe you have a friend with an only child who can make it happen. Alternatively, you can post a meetup letting the other parents know that your teenagers will be present somewhere independently such as the library or a park or another place other teens might want to go. I recently posted about a college tour opportunity. While I will not be able to physically attend, my teenagers will and other parents are welcome to as they can. Just because you are not able to attend something, don’t let that be an automatic no for you teens– or any of your other children for that matter. You may have to get creative but isn’t that a large part of how large families work anyhow?

Tip #20 Don’t Let Being A Big Family Be An Excuse for Not Striving for Excellence

I’ll end with this point because it is truly the larger context of this entire list. Do not let the fact that you have a big family be an excuse for not striving for excellence. Read this, if you haven’t already: Homeschooling for Excellence

Google also returns many lists of children from large families who went on to achieve many things both academically and otherwise.

Books that have inspired my view as expressed in this article:

• The Well Trained Mind
• The Closing of the American Mind: How Higher Education Has Failed Democracy and Impoverished the Souls of Today’s Students
• Grit: The Power of Passion and Perseverance
• NurtureShock: New Thinking About Children
• The Gardener and the Carpenter: What the New Science of Child Development Tells Us About the Relationship Between Parents and Children 
• For The Love of Learning, Giving Your Children a LOLIPOP Education
• Free to Learn: Why Unleashing the Instinct to Play Will Make Our Children Happier, More Self-Reliant, and Better Students for Life
• How to Educate a Citizen: The Power of Shared Knowledge to Unify a Nation

A final note:

College is not the only measure of success for me and I will not be disappointed if all 6 of my children don’t decide to attend or are not accepted to Harvard. I believe there are many different ways to be successful in life. My sole aim is to make sure that my choices do not obstruct the path for my children’s choices, and that is the point of everything I have written above.

Thanks for reading!

end note: I am publishing this without photos and before proof reading because who knows when I will have the time to do so? Please feel free to point out any typographical errors below in the comments and I will fix them when I have the opportunity!